Lovers Of Words

I need a little funny craziness to get me through this manic Monday!

 1. A bicycle can’t stand alone because it is two-tired.
 2. What’s the definition of a will? (It’s a dead giveaway).
 3. Time flies like an arrow.  Fruit flies like a banana.
 4. A backward poet writes inverse.
 5. In democracy it’s your vote that counts; In feudalism, it’s your count that votes.
 7. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
 8. If you don’t pay your exorcist you get repossessed.
 9. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
 10. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I’ll show you A-flat minor.
 11. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
 12. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
 13. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blown-apart.
 14. You feel stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.
 15. Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
 16. He often broke into song because he couldn’t find the key.
 17. Every calendar’s days are numbered.
 18. A lot of money is tainted. ‘Taint yours and ‘taint mine.
 19. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
 20. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
 21. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
 22. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
 23. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
 24. When you’ve seen one shopping center you’ve seen a mall.
 25. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine .
 26. When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she’d dye.
 27. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
 28. Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.
 29. Acupuncture is a jab well done.
 30. Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.

Hope everyone is having a less crazy day than we are having at the paper today!

Much love and nerdiness
-Jenn (With 2 N's)